Growing up with Alcoholism

Many people question whether or not a parent or guardian has a drinking problem. Many also question whether or not their own lives have been negatively impacted by the drinking. People who grow up with a problem drinker decide very early that they want their own lives to be different. They feel confident that once they are away from the problem drinker, that the problems will be solved. If you grew up with a problem drinker, the following questions will help you determine whether Al-Anon/Adult Children can help you.

  1. Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
  2. Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?
  3. Do you fear criticism?
  4. Do you over-extend yourself?
  5. Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
  6. Do you have a need for perfection?
  7. Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
  8. Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
  9. Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?
  10. Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
  11. Do you isolate yourself from other people?
  12. Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
  13. Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
  14. Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
  15. Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?
  16. Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and abusive?
  17. Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
  18. Do you mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
  19. Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
  20. Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?

If you answer "YES" to any of these questions, you may find help in Al-Anon. Some people who come into Al-Anon were not raised in a home where there was active drinking, but perhaps they were raised by a child of an active drinker. In that case, the attitudes, feelings and negativity are passed down the family chain. While you may feel confused, you'll be happy to know that you can find help, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not, or whether you are still living with a person affected by alcoholism or not.

What To Do Next?

  1. Find a meeting near you
  2. Take another quiz (general or teenage child of an alcoholic)
  3. Begin on the road to recovery!

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Al-Anon's Three Legacies

Al-Anon has three legacies: Recovery (through the Steps), Unity (through the Traditions) and Service (through the Concepts).

Upcoming Events

Visit our events page to learn about upcoming conventions, conferences, Area and District meetings, and other Al-Anon activities. To post an event to this page, contact the Webmaster.